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Chicago Exhibition

One afternoon I thought I would go
To see the Great American show
Of which there was such a hallabou
Chicago Exhibition
I left a clerk to mind the store
A thing I had never done before
How long I would be I was not sure
But I thought it would take a week or more
So home i goes to my wife and I says
Business will take me away a few days
Tomorrow morning at six oclock
Im going to London (Landon?) to purchase stock
So call me at five for breakfast dear
And see my collars and shirts appear
Wrap them up so they will not crease
And pack them away in my new valise
When morning came it was pouring rain
I hustled around the cabin in vain
I tried to step on a passenger car
But I slipped and fell with an awful par
My new umbrella was knocked about
And turned completely inside out
But I wouldn’t a cared so much for that
If I hadn’t a tore my new silk hat
I also spoiled a suit of clothes
And tore the skin all of my nose
I fell in the mud on the broad of my back
My valise went flying across the truck
First it opened my collars and shirts
They went flying around the road in the dirt
When I got up I could hardly walk
But I managed to get down as far as the dock
The steamer was almost ready to go
In a minute or two the whistle blowed
I asked my ticket he answered No
Your not in a fit condition
Your a liar I roared as I jumped aboard
For Chicago Exhibition
And when I reached the famous fair
All kinds of people had gathered there
There was dutchmen with their sausage meat
And Italians playing out in the street
It was a dollar a piece for apple pies
They would do dam well for railraod ties
They had no fresh meat so they gave us a dish
Of slathery soup with turnip and fish
And after that great meal was done
I found that my watch and purse was gone
So up I jumped on the table quick
And I told the cashier that he would I thrash
If he didn’t immediately give me my cash
The table slipped and away I flew
And away went all the dishes too
A plate of soup my head went through
At Chicago Exhibition

** (Format leads to questions about this pieces status as song lyric)

Blame it On To Poor Old Father

Now weve a lively family of kids theres heavenly three
And everywhere you chance to roam our house is called the childrens home
Yesterday someone brought another one to up
So we shouted rural Britania and cried
Don’t make a fuss

But Blame it onto poor old father
Blame it onto poor old Dad
Hes so nice and breezy takes things nice and easy
Blame it onto poor old father
Fathers never never sad
[If] a blame good job [into] another thirty bob
So blame it onto poor old Dad

Mother caught her finger in the mangle last July
now her language it was floury so we all began to cry

Blame it on to poor old Father
Blame it on to poor old Dad
Hes so nice and easy takes things nice and breezy
Blame it onto poor old Father
Fathers never never sad
The old black cat had kittens in his hat
So we blamed it onto poor old dad

((I question this texts status as lyric due to it’s form and lack of meter))