Archive for the ‘abuse’ Tag

I Had But Fifty Cents

I took my girl to a fancy ball,
It was a social hop
But we stayed until the folks went out
And the music it did stop
Then to a restaurant we went
The best one in the street
She said she wasn’t hungry
But this is what she ate
A dozen raw, a plate of slaw
A chicken and a roast
Some sparrow grass and apple sauce
And soft shelled crabs on toast
A big hot stew and crackers too
Her appetite was immence
When she called for pie I thought I’d die
For I had but fifty cents

She said she wasn’t hungry
She didn’t care to eat
Now Ive got money in my clothes
To feed she can’t be beat
She took it in so cosy
She had an awful tank
She said she wasnt thristy
But this is what she drank
A whiskey shin, a glass of gin
It made me shake with fear
Some ginger pop, with rum on top
A schooner than of beer
A glass of ale, a gin cocktail
She aught to have more sense
When she called for more I fell on the floor
For I had but fifty cents

You bet I wasnt hungry
I didn’t care to eat
Expecting every moment
To be kicked out in the street
She said she’d bring her family round
Some day and we’re have fun
Then I gave the man the fifty cents
And this is what he done
He tore my clothes he smashed my nose
He hit me in the jaw
He gave me a prize of a pair of black eyes
And with me swept the floor
He took me where my clothes hung loose
And threw me over a fence
Take my advice don’t try twice
When youve got but fifty cents

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A Gay Caballero

I am a gay caballero
Coming from Rio Jan Ero
With nice oily hair and full of hot air
Im an expert at shooting the bull o
Im seeking a fair senueeto
Not thin and not too much meat o
I’ll woo her awhile in my Argentine style
I’ll cary her up off her feet o
I’ll tell her Im the nobilio
And live in a great big castill-o
I must have a Miss who will long for a kiss
She’ll not say don’t be so still-o

Twas at a swell cabaret 0
While wining and dining I met her
We drank one or two as other folks do
The night was wet but she got wetter
She told me her name was Astrollo
She said stick around me young fellow
Masquitoes they bite they’re awful tonight
And you smell like citremell-o
I can forget that Sonera while telling her [bawl] adore her
Asleep she did fall I didn’t mind it at all
But she was a terible snorer
She was a dancer and singer
At me she kept pointing her finger
And kept saying to me oh see see oh see
But I couldn’t see a darn thing-o
She told me she was so lonely
So i climbed upon her balcony
While under her spell I heard someone yell
Get away from her you big balogna
I swore I’d win this Senretta
I woed her upon the sofeta
Then her husband walked in what he did was a sin
I can still her the birds go tweet tweet twiter
Now I am a sad cabollero returning to Rio Janero
Im minus my hair a bruise here and there
For her husband chewed off my earo

Im a gay cabellero Back from Rio de Janero
And you bet your life I’ll be dodging the wife
And the hubby that chewed off my ear-o

McCarthy’s Wedding

It’s just a year ago today I took to me a wife
And ever since shes proved to be the burden of my life
She’s the widow of McCarthy and McCarthy was her name
And changing it to Flannigan of course shes not to blame
She speaks about McCarthy and his worships everyday
And wished that I would sober up and be like him everyway
She beats me with the broomstick whenever the baby cries
And makes me rock the cradle from crown until I die

She licks me, she kicks me, she never lets me be
She lashed me and she thrashed me until I couldn’t see
She is the second party, she is my dearest hearty
She might have licked McCarthy but she can’t lick me

When I got home tonight no boys there’s going to be a row
Im going to see McCarthy as me me which is the best man now
And if she doen’t behave herself and learn to shut her mouth
And if she puts me into jail be [lads] she’ll take me out

We’re going down to old Blyth town on purpose to get tight
You’ll bet your life when I get home there’s going to be a fight
I’ll break up all the furniture before I do get through
I’ll smash up the kitchen stove the next thing I will do
Oh She is my second party and she is my dearest hearty
she might have licked McCarthy but she can’t lick me

F.M.M.